My story

Doc.PhDr.ThDr. Tomáš Pružinec, PhD. University teacher at the Faculty of Philosophy at the University of Constantine the Philosopher in Nitra. In Slovakia he studied at the Comenius University and at the University of Trnava. In France he studied at the New Sorbonne University (Paris III), Sorbonne University – René Descartes (Paris V) and at the Catholic University of Paris. In Switzerland he studied at the University of Geneva. His specializations fields are philosophy and sociology, French philosophy and sociology, and personalistic philosophy.

I grew up in a family with a good cultural level, but my parents got divorced. I was in good and careful hands, but with no Christian faith. I did not know God personally.

Some of my friends-believers tried to get me closer to God. But I found no motivation in their religious speeches. I could not understand them. They were miles away from me. Their religious practices were rather dissuading me from getting interested in faith.

I was a sort of atheistic believer. God was with me, but I was not with Him. It wasn't me that started to live with God. It was God Who first started to live with me. I read the Bible. We had received a nice illustrated Bible. Somebody had smuggled it from Yugoslavia. My initial enthusiasm for all those wonderful tales vanished as soon as I closed the book. I read it with the same enthusiasm as though I was reading Dracula or Winnetou. My mother took care about me with love. But she said the streets will be my teachers. I know one thing for sure - I was not walking in the right direction.

During holidays in the Balaton Lake area I met a woman. Actually she was our guide. One day she started to tell me about the faith of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. God ready to pardon, gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness (Nehemiah 9,17) spoke to me through this lady. I decided that I will experience what Catholics call the Holy Eucharist. And I did go that way. When they saw me in the church, everybody thought I was there by mistake. I didn't have a good reputation, but I was out of my cage and I entered the Holy Temple (Jonah 2,7). I became an "active Christian". Those years were featured by great grace of God. My eyes and heart were gradually opening. I did my best to understand what was going on.

Soon after my conversion, an important event occurred. One Sunday morning I was praying in my room. In the nearby town (partially Protestant) the church bell began to ring.

Then, God poured into my heart a desire of unity within Christ's Church. He spoke to me through ringing bells and I agreed with my ministry for the unity of His people.

One week later I walked to the nearby town in order to attend Lutheran worship prayer. I didn't know where the church was and I didn't know anyone in that town. The local pastor was an old man, full of blessings from God. He spoke about the prophet Isaiah who encouraged Israel in the darkest times: Arise, shine; for thy light is come, and the glory of the Lord is risen upon thee. For, behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and gross darkness the people: but the Lord shall arise upon thee, and his glory shall be seen upon thee (Isaiah 60,1-2). Since then, my relationship with God got linked with the unity of the Church of Christ. At that time, I didn't know yet that it is a tough mission. Sometimes also painful. I didn't know that I will have to face misunderstanding and condemnation, even from my own people, or sometimes from both parties.

Back then, my "spiritual life" was led by a very good man with a very big heart. He was an excellent priest, but not too good a confessor. I became victim of excessive scrupulousness. I had my head in the clouds but I always kept a sincere relationship with God - or probably with a caricature of God. I really longed for a truthful relationship with God. I was really looking for Him. This desire was quite deep inside me. And I was tenacious.

One night, after the Eucharist, I stayed with some friends praying in a chapel. Then, the Spirit of Jesus descended on us. I experienced the storm of the Holy Spirit. Just like the Holy Spirit descended on the Apostles on the day of the Pentecost (Acts 2) and on people gathered in Cornelius' house in Caesarea (Acts 10,44; 11,15), so it descended on us. I was filled with the Spirit of Jesus, I was full of joy and I began to pray like Christians on the day of the Pentecost (Acts 2,4). I directly experienced the Kingdom of God, a Kingdom of "peace and joy in the Holy Spirit" (Romans 14,17).

Since then, every time I heard the name of the "Lord" Jesus, I felt the real strength of the Lord's name. When I uttered that name or whenever I heard it, I perceived it in a different way than before. Bible reading also changed. I felt "the word of his power" (Hebrews 1,3). The word acted inside me and I discovered the meaning of this passage of the letter to the Hebrews (4,12): "the word of God is quick and powerful". It wasn't me to change myself with my own strengths, but God changed me with His grace. The love I was so strenuously looking for was not a product of my work, but it was poured through the Holy Spirit - "the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us" (Romans 5,5). It was not "my run", it was not "my will", but God's mercy (Romans 9,16). Through the Holy Spirit it was not me glorifying myself in the Lord, but the Lord began glorifying Himself in me. It was a crucial moment of my new faith experience. Later on, it also appeared as a road showing big paradoxes.

In 1990, soon after the fall of the Communist regime, I used to minister in prisons together with several priests. Once a detainee told me: "Today, it's your turn, the Catholics. Tomorrow, people from the Apostolic Church will come. And on Saturday we are waiting for the Lutherans.

You bring us faith, but - together with it - you also bring a divided Christ. I would like to belong to some Church, but I don't know which one". It was a painful witness of the division of the Church. And it hurts, still today.

I know that God calls us all. He wants us to prepare our net with faith and honesty in our churches (Matthew 4,21). He wants us to accept the word of Jesus: One is your Teacher, and you are all brothers (Matthew 23,8).

My faith road was full or experiences, events, and phases, throughout which God led me: when I worked as heavy industry technician in the 1990s; when I worked in hospital surgery and gynaecology department, where I saw people dying in my hands and children suffering before my eyes... But I also saw children coming to this world and the smile on the face of their parents... God led me through my university studies. He was with me during all my long years I spent abroad. He didn't abandon me when I was unemployed. I was not always with Him the way He wanted. I did not always love Him with the love He deserves. I had to fall several times. I had to touch the bottom...

Time and again, I felt the love of God that lifts us up and the spirit that gives life (2 Corinthians 3,6). "Bless God! He didn’t reject my prayer; He didn’t withhold his faithful love from me." (Psalm 66,20). He touched me so many times. Through His strength He also touched other people around me. I am infinitely thankful for it. He is the Lord who does not stay angry forever but delights to show mercy (Micah 7,18). Every time I fall down I see the power of God getting more and more abundant and strong. I see that He keeps His promises in my life.

He stands by me and teaches me how to walk with joy - and sometimes even in times of interior void. I am happy because I experience the presence and the action of the Spirit of Jesus, every day of my life. His dwelling among us and His blessing presence is a great gift of God's love for each one of us. I am happy because I can minister and serve the cause of the unity of Christians. I am happy when I can minister and serve the healing power of God. I am happy because I can see how Jesus' promise is being fulfilled: they will be one just as We are one... You have loved them just as You loved Me... because they are Yours (John 17).