My story

Peter Gombita, Roman Catholic priest. He is famous in Slovakia for running marathons for the poor.

He is the director of the non profit organization Oáza-nádej pre nový život, n.o. (Oasis of Hope for New Life)

I was lucky enough because I was born in a family that educated us according to faith principles. The faith in God was part of my parents’ life and of their way of thinking, talking, and acting. I grew up in a family where people weren’t just going to church, but they lived the Word of God also in practical terms.

That’s why I was quite surprised when in my adolescence years I started to rebel against God. Actually, I started to doubt about God’s existence. I politicised and argue with Him.

The early contact with God was through my conscience. I was at school and they gave us a questionnaire to fill in. The questions concerned religion and our relationship with God. They wanted to know if and how often I went to church, if somebody teaches me prayers, if I pray at home, and with whom.

I was scared. I feared truth could damage me. Back then, faith in God was a risk. I asked a school-mate how to fill the questionnaire. He said: just write whatever you want. Who cares about truth... So I wrote I was not a usual church visitor, but I just went there a couple of times with my grandma; and – actually – I never stopped and thought if God exists or not. When I handed over my filled questionnaire, I felt sad and angry. I was deceived by my coward behaviour, because I didn’t write the truth. I did not want to be a coward. I started to reflect about my behaviour and I really asked myself if God exists. One of my first answers was that there is a possibility that He does not exist. If there is no God, why do we go to church? Why feeling reproaches? I deeply analysed myself and my impressions. Back then, holy masses were in Latin. Our priest had almost always the same homily. So nobody gets surprised if I say that I went to church rather for those things that we used to make after the mass: meetings friends, football talks, entertainment, films, etc. I realised that I did not go to church because of God. I just went there to meet people and have good time after the holy mass. I didn’t feel the presence of God in my life and, thus, I was not able to understand how my father can pray so many hours on his knees.

Suddenly, a question rose inside me:

What if God existed? What if everything was true?

I always liked nature, walking in the woods, fishing, watching the sky at night, etc. Suddenly, I started to perceive all this from another point of view. I realised that somebody had to create such beautiful things; somebody gave them an order and laws that make everything work without mistakes. Nevertheless, I did not want to accept such a God like the one our priests were presenting; a God who gets angry and threatens us with hell and punishment. I refused this kind of God in my heart. I didn’t want to be afraid of eternity.

So, for about two years, I happily lived with the illusion that I don’t have to worry about anything and was not supposed to be responsible for my deeds. Ok, I could admit that God exists. But I did not accept Him in my life and in my heart. I did not want to have any policeman behind my shoulders always reproaching me and punishing me. I did not want to feel sad and with a guilty conscience. During all that time I had the impression that a shadow was constantly walking besides me. And that shadow looked as though it had a question for me:

What if God existed? What if I were going to meet him one day? How will it be?  

When I let this question enter my heart I felt something like joy, happiness, calm, and love. These feelings were getting more and more intense. In one of these moments I was so filled with happiness and love that I clearly understood it was something we cannot just experience and then forget. It was something that leaves an undeletable sign in your person. People can experience this only through the will of God and through His grace. And only through God’s grace we can keep living normal life. The echoes of such experience lasted about four years. During those years I normally studied, worked, played football, fell in love with a girl – but I always had the impression that I was levitating in another world.

I heard a question inside my heart: don’t you want to share this good feeling with others? But how to share it…?

I suddenly had another thought: what about priesthood? I was scared. I always longed for marriage, family, and children. Why priesthood? For about one year I fought against this feeling. I prayed God. My prayer was not “mechanical” like in the past. Now I prayed more intensively, more personally. It was a real dialogue with God. I prayed God to show me the good direction, because I was not able to decide by myself. I didn’t want to loose that joy. I didn’t want to loose the opportunity of talking and witnessing. But I also wanted a family and children. My desire for God and priesthood was more and more intense.

When I experienced the presence of God, my life changed. Also my behaviour and my interactions with other people changed. I knew I had to change my behaviour. I felt joy in my heart and I wanted to show it even to the exterior: I stopped smoking; I started to collect cigarette ends in the streets, to clean everywhere, and to take care of my personal things in a more responsible way. A number of people were bothered by my new behaviour: for example, when I was cleaning and collecting rubbish instead of them or when I started to regularly obliterate my tickets in the tramway (unlike most of them). Once, they physically blocked my hands and did not allow me validating my ticket. I waited until we reached our destination and then I tore the ticket. I didn’t want to fraud by travelling without paying the tramway ticket. I considered it a theft. That wouldn’t be right.

I wanted to live according to truth and justice both in my interior and exterior life.

I remember when we were working on the blast furnace. We were having 12-hour working shifts. Usually, on Fridays we finished earlier, but we all signed the full amount of worked hours. I went to see my boss and told him to write me down only the exact number of hours I had worked out. The boss did not understand me and my colleagues did not like my initiative.

Every time I put remedy to some mistakes in my life, every time I made something better and I managed to deal with different situations, I felt a great joy inside me. This encouraged me to do more and more good.

After internal cleansing I passed to my interior and I went to confession. And I “literally” said yes to God.

I broke up with my girlfriend. I asked God how I should share my joy with others. And God enhanced my desired for priesthood and for the announcement of the gospel to the world.

Today, I work with very poor people. I see the consequences of evil in their lives, families, and health. If such a desperate person invites God in his/her life, everything begins to change, progressively. This is what I also see when I am in contact with those persons. People can live and go ahead only with the help of God.

Every time we help others, it has an impact also on our lives. I experienced it by myself. I meet Jesus through beauty and goodness and I feel good when I help others. I encourage people to follow this path. It is the only guaranteed way to be happy and to live a blessed life.