My story

Little girl lost

thought no one loved her

thought no one wanted her

Ran away from her castle

She was embraced by the Devil and his false love, and through that embracing became a different person.

Became the harlot Became the queen of lies, the Jezebel.

That's my life.

Growing up, I just remember my dad just raging, I'd come home and my dad would be really angry , stressed out, and I really took it personal. And I think that I thought to myself that I must unlovable. High school, noticed that the boys were paying attention to me, and since I wasn't getting any attention from my dad, I gravitated towards any compliment, any pass that was made at made.

I met this boy in school that stole my heart. He told me that if I slept with him, we'd get married. We'd have a life together. We'd have babies. And I completely took my entire heart and gave it to this boy.

And when I found out that he was sleeping with several of my best girl friends, it was such a shock to me. Left high school heartbroken, moved out of my parents home the day after graduated.

I remember waving at my mom when I was 18, and dad, in the back of the car knowing I would never come back 'cos I was done.

I got out into the beautiful city of Minneapolis, tried to find a way to go to college, but I have to work three jobs to have my own place, and buy a car. And I found how a thing inside of me that if I had nice clothes, if went out to clubs, I could meet different men that liked me. And that I could meet a rich guy that would sweep me off feet and take care of me like a prince would.

And so my girlfriend and I started going out to the nightclubs. We had a fake ID. And one night we walked in. These men walked up to us at the bar and bought us drinks. Rolex watches, designer clothes, I looked at girlfriend ' These guys have money'. My girlfriend starts to like one of the men. I told my girlfriend ' Get that guys money'.

And what I think this really was building up inside of me was this vendetta... this deep seated, rooted unforgiveness towards my dad, towards that boy in school... I just wanted revenge.

I was going to prove that I could make it in my life and… money was going to be the answer. My girlfriend takes off with this guy, goes to Hawaii. I'm working my three jobs. She calls me up and says ' listen, I am on the beach, I'm in a drop-top Corvette and I'm on my cellphone. And you need to come out here'. And even though I didn't have the guts to ask her you know what…what are you doing? I just kind a went with it.

It was like automatic walking into a dark doorway that I knew something wasn't right. But the lure of the possibility of having nice things and finally having money that I never had growing up, finally being someone important overrode all those feelings of any caution. And blew it to the wind.

And I went to Hawaii that very week, took a vacation from my jobs.And the first night I was on Waikiki beach I actually sold myself with my girlfriend to some Japanese clients. And I became a prostitute.

Its kind a like I had this ring that I put on and I couldn't take it off. No longer could $ 3.47 an hour cut it. Once I found out that I could make hundreds if not thousands of dollars selling myself. $500 an hour with no attachment, no relationship. $1,000 an hour. Now it was $2,000 an hour … it gave me this immense power. And if you wanted me for the night, that was $10,000. A few months later I started dancing.

And one day I was on the stage, and this man walks in, and puts this couple of hundred dollar fan of money at my feet. And I danced just for him. And let him know that I was prostituting my body. I was actually selling myself to make extra ends meet. He looked at me and said 'You are so intelligent. I really like you. In fact, I think I am falling in love with you'.

He gave me everything that I needed to hear from my Dad.

And I decided that I wanted to move to Las Vegas. I got off the plane and that night I went on a couple of calls. I bought home a nice wad of money. My boyfriend was there, and he told me to 'break myself'. 'What did you say to me?' He said break yourself. And that means give me all of your money. Dump your purse on my lap. And I wasn't having it. And he proceeded to take me out by my hair . He choked me. He threw me on the porch on my knees and he started kicking me. 'This is pimping B ( bitch)'. Just choking my own blood. 'You're gonna work for me'. Punching me in the face. 'What time it is now, you' re gonna pay me'. My nose broke, my ribs broke. I was looking at the Devil. The prince turned dark. ' And if you try to leave, I'll kill you'. That night, its like I died inside.

And the next 5 years of my life, I was with that pimp. Every time he hit me, choked me, and raped me, or put guns to my head, And me do things I never wanted to do, I just did it. I just did it because I loved him and because out of fear. Because I knew if I didn't I would not live another day.

And even though I got away from him, everything you give you leave... the money, the cars, the houses- all behind because when you leave a pimp, you leave with nothing. I started stacking my money again, but the money wasn't the same.

I came down with cancer.

And a couple of years later, lost all my hair, had chemotherapy. Had Hodgkin's lymphoma. I start taking painkillers for my bone pain in my marrow. And I got addicted to painkillers and that led into cocaine.

I was going on calls bald with wigs because I had lost all my hair with chemotherapy. And I had clients calling me a cancer ' B' , a cancer BITCH, I'll just say it. I'm staying in these seedy motels. And I remember lying there in bed looking in the mirror at myself. Thinking that God was angry with me.

I would get in the shower and scrub my body. And I would think, I'll never, ever be clean. I started freebasing cocaine. And one night, I just decided that I was just gonna get higher than I could ever been before. Because I wanted to erase all the pain, the pain of the cancer, the pain of my uncle, my sister, my grandpa all dying within three months of each other, losing my family in the Midwest, my friends, my cars, losing everything....

I took the hit of that coke and I fell back. And I went completely blind. Its like the whole room … the light that was on that room, turned dark. And I remember lying there and I felt that demonic presence just came over me. And that I was completely alone. And I got really, really scared and I just instinctively knew that I was at deaths door. I was in this dark, dark cave and I knew it was over.

And I saw my family. I saw my funeral. And I was in the coffin and everybody was crying. They were wiping their faces and they were saying ' She was just a prostitute.'

Then I said ' Jesus please save me'. 'I don't know if You are real, but I don't want to die'. The ambulance came and the doctor came up to me. He grabbed my hand, and he said ' you are lucky to be alive. You have so much drugs in your system, little lady, you should be dead. God must be with you'. And I knew that Jesus heard my prayer. And I laid there I had this peace come over me that was like nothing I had ever felt in my entire life. And I knew God gave me a second chance. I got better, I started reading my Bible. I recovered and was afraid to go to church. 'Come on, I'm an ex-prostitute...

Do you think if I walk into church, people are going to look at me and really love me?“ But I walked into that church and people embraced me.

And God just really started that inner healing. And the Holy Spirit was just like speaking to me, telling me that I was beautiful and that I was chosen and that I was set apart and that I was sanctified and that I was a holy vessel for Him.I started to stand on Jesus's words- that I'm whole, that I'm healed, that I'm pure, that I'm like a virgin in Him.

And that gives me peace.

I remember that I was vacuuming my house one day and the Lord said to me ' Annie, I want you to go back down that strip and I want you to tell the girls that they are in slavery, that I love them.“

And so that's what I am called to do – to simply tell them God loves them. No matter where you've been, no matter what you've done, no matter how deep, how dirty you feel, that there's redemption. You are white as snow when you accept Him into your heart.

Little girl lost

thought no one loved her

thought no one wanted her

Ran away from her castle

But God met her on that dark road

He said ' You can come home now, I am right here and I never left you.'

Redemption, redeemed, set free.

That's my life.

His love.