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    he Baptism in the Spirit's effectiveness in reactivating baptism consists in this: finally man contributes his part -- namely, he makes a choice of faith, prepared in repentance, that allows the that allows the work of God to set itself free and to emanate all its strength. It is as if the plug is pulled and the light is switched on. The gift of God is finally "untied" and the Spirit is allowed to flow like a ftragrance in the Christian life.
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  • Peter Hocken
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  • Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
    "I have a dream," he began, "that one day on the red hills of Georgia, sons of former slaves and sons of former slave-owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood. "I have a dream my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."
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  • Peter Dufka SJ
    We all know, based on our personal experience, that the cooperation with most intelligent people is not often easy. These people usually do not establish friendship easily. It is interesting also that university graduates with an honour degree usually do not fit in to the working environment in the best way and that their high intellect is of a little help in overcoming personal or marriage crises.
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  • Marek Nikolov
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Message - Peter Dufka SJ
Emotional Maturity II.

small_small_peter dufka.jpg

Father Peter Dufka SJ, lecturer at the Pontifical Oriental Institute in Rome, shares the topic of emotional maturity within the Spiritual Accompany Cycle.

In our previous broadcasting we explored the topic of emotional maturity which is one of the indicators of spiritual independence. We have pointed out already how discernment and knowledge of self are the two components of the spiritual independence. The issue of emotional maturity is very actual, yet broad enough to continue to explore it further in our today´s programme.

We all know, based on our personal experience, that the cooperation with most intelligent people is not often easy. These people usually do not establish friendship easily. It is interesting also that university graduates with an honour degree usually do not fit in to the working environment in the best way and that their high intellect is of a little help in overcoming personal or marriage crises.

JThere is a whole set of important characteristic features not related directly with their intellect though, which are tremendously important for spiritual and mental life. These cover the aspects of emotional maturity which are: self-control, perseverance, empathy and others. Since 1995 the term emotional intelligence has been used to indicate these qualities of man. Daniel Goleman, American psychologist, writer and journalist has provided a definition as follows:

„Emotional intelligence is the ability of a man to provide a proper motivation for himself, ability to persevere in achieving a certain goal in spite of the difficulties and to control motives and impulses originating in one own´s inside.“

According to D. Goleman, emotional intelligence can be concentrated into five elements: knowledge of oneself, ability to be a master of oneself (control over oneself), motivation, empathy and ability to establish deeper relationships. The emotional ability is, to a certain extent, congenital and a child experiences it for the first time even before being born. On the other hand, these emotions are the fruit of upbringing and habits which do not end up in a childhood but can be improved throughout the whole life. Let us have a closer look at all of them: 1. Knowledge of oneself. This includes knowledge of own feelings and emotions. Where do they come from, what is their origin and what do they cause in me. This ability to capture and identify correctly any feeling immediately after it occurs is well-known from the first century of Christianity. Something deeper than just pleasant or unpleasant feelings could be recognized by spiritual authors. Presence of good or bad spirit was captured in them. St. Ignatius, who was an expert in spirit discernment, notices that very often we are not aware of the feelings which occur in us, moreover we even do not attach any spiritual potential to them. He speaks about the need to notice them, analyze them according to their origin and adopt or permanently reject them.

2. Control over oneself. This assumes not only knowing but also mastering and controlling our feelings in such a way that we clearly recognize those feelings which we have adopted and those which we have rejected. The Sacrament of Baptism makes us participating in the power of Christ the King, prophet and priest. Some authors describe the emotional maturity as control/master over oneself. It is a privilege of a king who rules not over others but primarily over himself. He not only is the master of his decisions but also of emotions which he allows to affect him and/or not affect him. It is beneficial to remember in this context, how the virtues are being born in us and how the vices (bad habits) found their grounds in us. Any natural virtue costs a lot of effort, control and mastery at the beginning, yet later it becomes natural and actions are based on virtues almost automatically. However, the situation with vices and bad habits is totally opposite. It seems as if they jumped on person on their own because of his/her inattention, laziness and feeling of comfort. They are very easy to be adopted as no effort is required. After some time, they also become natural, yet their effect is totally different. Gradually, people become deformed and degraded by them.

3. 3. Right motivation. This is the ability to maintain positive emotions in such a stage that they can lead to a valuable goal. Right motivation is connected with eliminating deforming impulses. John Cassian described in the 5th century these impulses as the seduction of the Evil one while discerning among eight ways of how impulses touch the souls. All emotions are some impulses to act and their efficiency is multiplied primarily in the moments of crisis. The word motivation is related to the root of the Latin word moveo which means to move. This is the way how a desire to act is carved into every emotion. Christianity is far from the false idea of individual importance (importance of an individuality). However, true humility must never take the shape of doubts or distrust of oneself. Humility means the truth about us and our dependence on God but also the truth about talents and gifts God has given to us. And so a right motivation has its place in achieving both spiritual as well as profane goals.

4.Empathy. Empathy is the ability to capture any subtle signals, desires and emotions of others. People can feel this ability or lack of, very quickly mainly in spiritual leading but also in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Without this ability, no right decision or guidance may be provided by a leader. The ability to understand a soul of other person is sometimes referred to as the art of arts. It resembles development of an artistic talent which requires lot of effort and experience. It is even more difficult to understand a human soul and know how to touch it with whole sensitivity.

5.Ability to establish deep relationships. This means to create positive emotions which are not just in the form of pleasures, but are able to act concretely even up to sacrifice. These emotions should be the traits of inter-personal relationships; they are usually dominant among the family members. In 1993 there was a train disaster in Alabama, USA. The train fell from the damaged bridge directly into the middle of the river. 47 people died. Among them, there was the Chauncey couple. The reaction of both parents in the first moment of that disaster was to help their little daughter Mary. They tried their utmost to save her. While their train was sinking to the bottom and a strong water current was flowing through the train windows, they managed to push her out through the window to the rescue crew. When the train fell on the bottom of the river, both parents died in the water.

This story is the picture of parents love demonstrating the power of emotions and proving the strength of altruistic love. The sacrifice of both parents is illogical from the rational and natural perspectives where the instinct of self-protection dominates. However, not from the emotional perspective. Human heart has different priorities

Dear friends, emotional maturity leads us to the correct relationship with ourselves and with those around us. Thanks to it we can advance also in our relationship with God and live in His presence on the level of emotions. Thanks to emotional maturity, the truth of faith shall not stay on the level of catechetical knowledge but will also touch our heart. It will therefor become a sign of a living experience.


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